If I could have paused time years ago, I would have. And if I had paused time then…. I’d be missing this. And goodness this is such a sweet season I’d be missing.

I am by no means an expert but I have been at motherhood for over ten years and I have an encouragement for you new mamas. It hit me yesterday. Apple was quietly working on her reading and dinner was cooking. I felt like I could breathe. Don’t get me wrong 4 kiddos is full of life and fun and chaos and it’s a ton to juggle at all times BUT there were times I had 3 under 3. Times where I remember the thought of a family dinner was impossible and I can remember looking at Aidens geography with a newborn in my arms and two other little ones thinking, this just really isn’t going to happen. I remember working harder than I ever had in my life chasing a dream and knowing balls were gonna drop. I even changed my phone number at some point because one more person asking me to do something, the thought of mustering up another no was just too much. When Adelaide turned three I realized for the first time a new season starting to peek through. It had been so long with a baby in my arms (which will be in some ways a forever ache) but a new season was emerging. Encouragement mamas, when they say it’s just a season – they are right. The family dinners will come. The sleepless nights restored and one day you will be standing in your kitchen and think, wow this is all really happening now. I have sooo many areas of struggle but motherhood has always been a peaceful sweet spot of safety for me.

But even with that, the little things I wanted for our family- it didn’t meant they were lost. It just meant it wasn’t quite the time.