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The Last Baby.

Does the last baby ache ever go away? 
 
 I’m finding that it doesn’t.  It’s been bittersweet to walk farther and farther away from the baby stage.  Each moment soaked in and memorized and cherished with a slow letting go.  It fades slowly by the day and while I’ve been in the baby stage for so long, there is beauty waiting for me in this next season…I’m sure of it!  

But it doesn’t make it any easier, looking back at the baby photos, remembering those quiet moments when it was just baby and I, rocking quietly in the nursery in the middle of the night, tracing that tiny face with my finger.  
 
Revisiting the memories of each of them nuzzled up next to me in the quiet of the night or the sweet baby smells. 

I often long to feel my baby nuzzled tightly on my chest, sleeping, cooing, and the gift of kissing that fuzzy little head and taking in that sweet baby smell.  Most of all, I miss baby-wearing and feeling the closeness and comfort that just cannot be compared to anything else!  Maybe its the finality of it all, just knowing the end of a 10 year season is nearing to an end. 

As much as I miss these moments,  I am proud to have walked through these cherished years and see who God is making them day by day.  These precious little gifts who God ordained before time…and for them to be His, and mine, and for me to be theirs. 

While the lasts make my heart ache. The thought of packing up a crib or the last time I will swaddle up a tiny babe, or feel a baby kick in my tummy….. I am letting go and watching it fade away ready to embrace this precious new season waiting for me. Beauty is there.

photos via beckley co

Motherhood

May 11, 2019

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