Since my sweet Apple was born she has been so easy going and precious. She rarely cried as a baby, she slept great, ate great, went with the flow. Everything about her precious little spirit now completely follows in those same footsteps. She tells me she is tired and just walks down to her bed and goes to sleep, we moved her to a big girl bed- she just climbs in…easy transition, sleeps all night. Just an easy goin little gal!
Well about a week ago I was sleeping and I heard her next to our bed. This literally never happens with Apple ( which is opposite of my other two)!- I hear this sweet whisper ” Mama, I need you.”
Instantly I sat up, grabbed her, pulled her in close and snuggled her up in my bed. It’s such a sweet special thing to be needed. I know she won’t always need me in the same ways, and so much of the time I feel like they are all growing so fast and all of these priceless moments are slipping through my fingers by the minute.
It’s a new season though. Coming from having three under three when she was born. Some of my very favorite memories that I will always will cherish dearly happened in the middle of the night when the world was sleeping. As I rocked my babies, had their teeny bodies nestled up to my neck and hummed little lullabies. Of course when you are in it, you’re exhausted and life feels chaotic but I would give anything for a few of those nights back. I loved hearing her little voice, the sweet reminder that she needs her mama.
Tonight at bedtime Aiden was asking me about God and fear and prayer and we all bowed our heads to pray. The most precious prayers come from their sweet little lips. I just wish I could bottle each one up and seal them away forever.
Then my big tender hearted 6 year old boy held on so tight as he fell asleep. “Mama, I will always need you”…. precious words to this heart of mine. The truth is, they are everything. The fear of ever missing a second of their life, not being able to protect them and cherish them, fight for them and help them navigate through life could just swallow me whole.
Day after day, I just hand it over. He knows my mama heart, He hears my prayers.
What a gift this journey called motherhood is.