Facing a Broken Heart.

When I was still pregnant with our 3rd loss ( it was a baby boy by the way), Chris and I went to a movie. It was sort of symbolic of a girl going on a journey to face her hurt, find herself again and let it all go. She screamed in the mountains, danced in the rain and looked face to face with some of the darker hurts. As we left the movie theatre, I timidly mentioned to Chris that if we lost this baby I wanted to plan a roadtrip. I wanted it for our family. I want to stand on a mountain with my babies, I want to kiss my husband in the ocean and I want to live free as a bird. I want to dance and scream and experience every emotion that I have to its fullest potential. I want to feel it all. I want to be immersed in God’s creation….I want to see His creation and just how Big He is in a whole new way. 
This summer it’s happening. 
I wanted to share a few pics from our Valentine’s Day. Something about this day every year is my favorite…getting to celebrate those that you love in an extra cheesy way- I adore that  :). I woke up and got to go on a breakfast date with Chris…we ate outside and it was literally the perfect morning. Beautiful sunshine, chocolate pancakes, a small breeze. perfect. We daydreamed about the trip- even made a route! Then just spent the day dreaming together!
When we got home that evening we grabbed the kiddos and cooked out for a fun family meal outside. It was such a sweet night and a perfect way to end the day. 
It feels good to be opening up our world again on this little space. No matter how small the story is to share- It’s remembering, it’s worth telling so that I have all the memories and feeling and emotions all alive in this space. 
It feels good to know that it’s leading up to what I imagine will be a summer full of me facing emotion.
Alot of growing, changing, hurting and moving on. 
I know various people hit the loss journey at different times and make it through my loss tab in various seasons, for anyone reading – here is a song that I love so much. Turn it up loud.



February 20, 2015


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