sometimes I don’t know what to say. there is always so much to say yet day after day the words come up dry. I have had so many life changes this year it feels like how could I even begin to process it all. It feels like years of searching and somehow where I never expected to find it… I did.
It feels like for years of searching for who I was or trying to fight “who I should be” or what box or mold I need to mesh into, I found myself.
Most people care what people think. Even the toughest and the loudest, even the most distant, the ones who have up walls and shields…they care. And with all the voices these days telling us how to be, how to parent, how to love, how to think….who we are can get clouded. We have to fight for it. So this year (yes all this time later), I found true freedom.
I found freedom to be me.
I decided to live by “audience of one”.
Who knows me? Like truly knows me?
Who created me?
What did He create me for?
Life change right there. That was the key, it was the key to everything. This isn’t me writing out to the world to say that hurtful words don’t sting, that assumptions don’t put my stomach in knots but when I walked away from the negativity. When I walked away from putting my hope in people and how people viewed me (whether it be good or not). When I was able to just be. Not the me trying to appeal to a certain crowd or the me doing this or that for whoever. Not me trying to seek approval from others. Just me, no excuses…then I was able to breathe.
There is so much irony in it. When we let go of trying to please everyone, it’s when we find the peace to be able to be the best version of ourselves. It feels good to be in this place. It feels good to step into your purpose and know that your goal is “audience of one”. He made me and as long as I am being true to myself, I can walk unashamed.
So friends whether we want to wear pjs to the grocery store or high heels. Whether we want to cosleep or not, whether we want to chase dreams or not, whether we want to post photos that look like this or like that, let’s all agree…. who cares, just be you. We are all moved by different things, we are all raising different kiddos, in different life stages. We all have different backgrounds, we all have different purposes. Do what you want to do. Live for one. Live for him…not the approval of man. Love well and big and let the rest go.