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the last time.

With our commute in to take Aiden to school I have more time in the car, which means more time to just be still and think. More time to reflect on how I feel like God is moving in my heart, more time to think about being intentional, more time for all the thoughts.

Someone recently shared this writing with me for parents about how there is always a last time and it made my heart just ache. Like really ache. I mean, I sooo love watching them grow and soar and change but the reality of the last times really is hard in some ways. In reading the list I realized how many had already passed. Like there was a moment I had Aiden on my hip, I set him down and without even realizing it, it had been the very last time I would ever hold him that way. The big moments are easier to recognize as they pass but some of those little moments are sneaky, they slowly slip away and it isn’t until time has passed that you realize that they are gone forever.

Of course you gain new moments that are worth everything, but those sweet little moments with tiny hands and eager hearts are slipping. And it makes me ache sometimes when I face it.

Chris has been in Africa for two weeks, he finally will get home on Saturday but each night I have  fallen asleep with one of my kiddos in my arms. Sometimes I feel like I can’t hold them tight enough or long enough….even when I feel like I am soaking in every last drop of their smallness, sometimes it feels like that isn’t enough.

I am okay with the ache though. I love them so much and know that the world needs people like them in it. Watching them grow into those people will be life’s greatest blessing to me.

i love you babies.

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Lifestyle

September 5, 2014

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  1. Catherine

    September 5th, 2014 at 4:59 am

    Can so relate! Been thinking many of these same thoughts as mothering my brood seems to be slipping away so fast!

  2. CaseyWiegand

    September 5th, 2014 at 12:59 pm

    ah it really does friend!!!

  3. Jessica Roth

    September 5th, 2014 at 5:05 am

    Oh honey I can so relate! My daughter will be two this month and still breastfeeds. I know that time is coming to an end. She wants it a little less each day. I try as hard as I can to hold on, and watch her, and memorize it all. I know that once she's done, there won't be another time where we can just stare into each other's eyes in silence without it being weird to her. 🙂

  4. CaseyWiegand

    September 5th, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    oh this is so sweet, be still my heart!

  5. Kayse Wieneke

    September 5th, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    Your love for your children is beautifully illustrated in the way you write. I don't have children of my own, but I can feel some of that same pull of the lasts as an Aunt. I remember how heartbroken, yet excited I was when my youngest niece called me "Auntie" instead of "Onnie" for the first time. It's amazing to see them grow and turn into people with personalities and habits and interests of their own.

  6. CaseyWiegand

    September 5th, 2014 at 5:16 pm

    this is so sweet friend

  7. Cynthia

    September 5th, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    Will you share the writing anout last times that you are talking about?

  8. CaseyWiegand

    September 5th, 2014 at 5:16 pm

    it was in my facebook feed, gonna go search for it now!!

  9. Jessica

    September 5th, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    I do this every.single.day. I look at their tiny fingers wrapped around mine and I find my mind thinking WAIT, keep hold, don't let go of my hand, because I know one day their hand won't automatically reach out to find mine and I'll still be left reaching for theirs. Love reading your words and seeing your beautiful pictures!! Thank you!

  10. CaseyWiegand

    September 8th, 2014 at 1:42 am

    aw thank you, that means so much!!

  11. Poor Pitiful Pearl

    September 5th, 2014 at 7:48 pm

    i think of this all the time. its bitter sweet as is life….. I'm thankful God has given me the stillness to savor these moments because i treasure them so much… being a mom is the greatest reward ever

  12. CaseyWiegand

    September 8th, 2014 at 1:42 am

    aw i love this and love you!

  13. Tessa Rayanne

    September 6th, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    my little one is 13 months, hes currently in the 'walk 5 steps and then fall stage', so this post is really sentimental and tear provoking because he hangs on me right on my hip just like you said, and soon this will be gone and he will want to walk on his own independently. Im so glad you posted this today, ill be soaking up every last little cruise on mamas hip these next few weeks. http://www.tessarayanne.blogspot.com

  14. CaseyWiegand

    September 8th, 2014 at 1:42 am

    aw i love this so much!!

  15. Carolyn McAfee

    September 6th, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    Ugh, it must be in the air, maybe with school starting and kids growing. I have felt the same way this week… that even though I gain things with my kiddies growth, there are things that I have to say goodbye to, and my heart has been mourning. What a joy it is to have the experience of motherhood. What a reward it is to love something so much you never want to let it go…

  16. CaseyWiegand

    September 8th, 2014 at 1:43 am

    im with you sister!

  17. Nicole

    September 7th, 2014 at 9:41 pm

    I can so relate to this… I don't even have kids. But with grandparents, my doggie getting older and sick…. I love when you post stuff from the heart! : )

  18. CaseyWiegand

    September 8th, 2014 at 1:43 am

    aw thank you so much love!

  19. Chrissy

    October 1st, 2014 at 2:40 am

    This is so beautiful. I've found myself coming back to this post of yours, as the days are hard sometimes. My husband is deployed and it's easy to get tired….just weary as I go through the day-to-day things with two little ones and one on the way. I love the reminder that these last times do pass unnoticed and to cherish the every-day. Every moment. : )

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