My mantra for this year has been brave. and then freedom joined the mantra. My year to claim that for my life!
God has done so much for my heart this year. He has given and He has taken away. There are so many intimate parts of my story that I have yet to share, so many bits and pieces tucked away in my soul…still sifting through them.
The same week we moved out of our home, we gave away most of what we own- simplify into a much smaller space is the same week our second baby went to heaven. Everything has been moving so fast these past two months but sometimes when I stop long enough to look around, the ache will grab me. Remind me that it still hurts.
I keep my eyes fixed on Him and I know that all will be okay, whatever that looks like. He has asked the broken me to trust, the want-to-control me to let go and the perfectionist me to surrender. He has placed me in a situation that cultivates compassion and humility.
God talks to everyone differently but with me specifically He pursues me in really beautiful ways. I mean, He knows me- He made me. He has had three different women that don’t know each other over the past 6 months come to me with the exact same message and exact same bible verse, saying they were confident that God was telling them to share with me. There is beauty in knowing that He cares.
It takes bravery to be vulnerable with your life and your story but I do believe that He is glorified when we do so. The hurting and broken see that they are not alone. This is a very broken world and hope is a beautiful message that we are able to cling to.
I have claimed that He has a purpose for me and something that He has confirmed in my heart and sealed in my soul is to be a light. I want to be a light, my family to be a light. I want my heartaches to be forever sealed as redeemed because He made the broken, beautiful again.
There is so much to be grateful for and amidst any heartache or confusion there comes clarity when I know there is a reason. The same God who leads us in, He will lead us out. We might be busted and broken but He uses our light to shine out and there is great purpose in that.