A few weeks ago I wrote this post. I have been entering into a season of freedom. Freedom from wishing people in my life would be a certain way, freedom from debt, freedom from ideas of how my life would go, freedom to live simply and with adventure….a lot of change. I mentioned two big things happening in our life in that post. One was that (at the time) we were pregnant…obviously I had no idea what these past two weeks would hold. The second big thing happening in our world is that we are moving. It’s exciting and terrifying and exhilarating all mixed into one.
Leaving this home is a lot more than just leaving a home. It’s where Chris grew up, it’s a house of redemption, a home filled with memories, with our stories in its walls. It’s a home I have lost in, grown in, changed in and brought all of my babies home to in. It has been emotional and beautiful mixed together like a ballet of feelings. Dancing and moving and changing day by day.
It’s a home that Chris has built and remodeled with his own hands. His blood, sweat & tears are in these walls. It’s been a labor of love, a piece of him, his story.
This past two weeks in the midst of our loss, our home has been empty, filled with boxes and memories stored away.
Just taking it a year a time, a day at a time…step by step.
We have danced with the idea of selling our home for years now. We could never decide, could never walk away from it and through various un-coincidental things we knew that God made it clear this was His desire for us. I keep feeling the word free hard pressed into my soul. Like he is chopping at bondage in our lives and we are entering into a season of grace and freedom.
I feel so overwhelmed with peace. His peace.
I want a beautiful adventure with my family. I want to stand with open hands for what God has for me and run full speed towards it.
This home will forever hold my heart. A huge, beautiful piece of who my husband is. It will hold in its walls our tears and our laughter. It will hold the memories of my babies playing in the backyard and me rocking them in the middle of the night. It has seen me at my worst and yet seen us change into who we are today.
It is a beautiful piece of us and will forever be held closely to our souls.