Having a Sister.

Apple began pulling out her dollies and doll clothes. A familiar feeling rushed over me as we sorted through hats and shoes and piles of tiny outfits. Each item from my own childhood, with the familiar smell of home and the wonder of my childhood seeping back through my mind.

I have the most beautiful memories with my dolls. I would play for hours…. an escape to a world I called my own. I remember being in the fourth grade and getting teased in my class by a friend for still loving my dolls. I remember the betrayal and hurt I felt. And the feeling knowing I wasn’t done with my imagination and play yet I was going to leave it behind to “grow up” like the others my age.

Growing up was a constant battle in my heart.

I cried as a stood in the shower and shaved my legs for the first time. My heart ached as I packed up my dolls and closed a chapter. I never was ready to leave the sweetness of being small.

Maybe in a way that is why I love being a mom of little ones so dearly. To revisit it all again.

It’s sweet. Watching Ainsleigh & Apple and their relationship form and grow. Aiden & Ainsleigh have always been close. He still calls her baby. He adores her and would do anything to protect her, I have seen it time and time again. Then Apple came and he had double the love. The protective older brother. He loves his girls.

The neat shift that I am watching lately is in them though. The girls. Ainsleigh is seeing Apple as less of a baby and more of a friend.

Walking down the hall to the sonogram room, I had butterflies the whole way. I knew it would be another girl. I just knew it in my heart. And I was right…. two of the sweetest angels. So different yet sharing a common thread. You look into their eyes and not only see both of them but me and Chris too. Side by side since birth.

Siblings are such a beautiful, forever gift. I know they will have each other always…. even in times I can’t be there.

As I stand in the hallway peering in. My heart soars that they can play and imagine and have one another.


March 17, 2014


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