Recently I feel like I am entering into a season of change and I am moving forward…and I keep glancing back. Like the old me is fading farther and farther. It’s a bit uncomfortable at times. People remain back. And sometimes it’s hard to move forward and change and see what God has for you when you see people you love not budging. Maybe that is why friendships change so much through various seasons of our lives. Some moments I feel like I have strapped myself into a rollercoaster and I am at the mercy of the world around me. Life throwing me every which way. Yet I can feel Him guiding me and moving with me.
I am changing.
That’s life yes?
A comment on my instagram this week got me thinking. Someone commented on my post about c-sections that a woman told her once that she wasn’t a real mother because she wasn’t able to have a regular delivery. Many women added that they too had been told the same.
What makes you a real mother?
What makes you a good one?
My babies are one of the things that have given me life. They make me want to be better, they make me want to grow and soar and be the best version of myself. They make me want to be brave.
Being a mother is one of the things that has made me the most real. Feel the most intensely in my life. Cry the hardest and face myself in the most intense way possible. It has shown me love in a way that I desperately hoped was real. An innocent, pure, unconditional love. In the purest most beautiful form.
I say, mothers bring their babies into the world by any means necessary….whether that includes dying to their own dreams and trusting their doctors to have a c-section or dying to their desire to keep a certain body shape or dying to their own idea of a perfect birth story.
I say…… that makes you supermom.
I say, real mamas figure out their babies needs…and they love them well.
We live in a time where everyone has the answers. Read this book, follow this blog, repin this on pinterest. I say hold on a second. Absolutely these are amazing tools and incredible means for ideas and guidance. But. I say, that maybe in an attempt to be “the best mom”…. in an attempt to follow the rules, the schedules, the perfect DIYs, have the most amazing birthday parties… we could actually miss out on being a truly remarkable mom. It’s like when I stop myself and realize that is more important to my kiddos that I am present than if every room is clean and perfect. Being so focused on following a book or doing what our best friend does, we might miss out on a different road. A path that might have been better for our child. A mom that is slow with her days, listens carefully, selflessly dies to an idea of how many hours she should sleep at night. A mom that is quick to forgive and slow with her temper.
We all mess up. We all end our days with a few mistakes under our belts.
What makes you a real mother or a good mother or a supermom isn’t whether you had a certain kind of birth story. It isn’t if your kid has the most beautiful lunch or the most creative handmade Valentine’s.
It’s in the little moments. In the middle of the night as we tiptoe down the hall and run our fingers along the walls as we beg out prayers over each child. It’s knowing your son wants you to buy him earthworms when you go to the store or that sometimes kids act out when they are hurting. It’s running up your kid’s homework that they forgot or staying up late to fold laundry and make lunches. It’s working at a job late into the night even when you feel unappreciated.
We wake in the middle of the night and rock our babies, we calm every fear and wipe every tear.
We love big and we know we don’t have it all together. We are enough. and we don’t need someone else’s idea of a real mom to shape us or take us down a wrong path.
We all have capes.
We don’t need to be told we are real moms, we know we are super.