I have mentioned that I have been anxious lately. Really ever since Chris left for his long trip this summer my anxiety has been a bit wacky. A lot of “what ifs”, a lot of worry and about a week ago I started making it a point to read “Calm My Anxious Heart” before bed. Goodness. I have been so convicted that my anxious heart is a faith problem. As hard as that is to admit, it’s true. I rely so much on “feelings” and need to be more focused on the truth of God’s word. Anytime I start to feel a little anxious, I have started saying “He stands at all my tomorrows” and as simple as that sounds, it really helps. It’s like facing my worst “what if” and saying, even if that became a reality…He will be there. He walks before me and I will be okay.
I don’t know, sometimes I feel like I am the only one that lives in such a battle with this but writing about it makes me feel less alone. Like other people, other mamas out there fight this battle as well. I love with so much passion and such a fierce love, I wonder if I will ever be completely free from the worry?
I want to know what tomorrow holds, I want to know that there is nothing heartbreaking in it. This world we live in seems so out of control to me. But that is where my faith must come in. I must trust in His sovereignty. I must trust.
“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.” -Montaigne (from the book Calm my Anxious Heart)
How true is that? I can make my stomach in knots just starting down the “what if” road and they aren’t even a reality in my life. I need to wake up each day and just live day by day.
“He stands at all my tomorrows”