I have written often of Aiden’s beloved two-ba. This sweet blankie (pillowcase) has gotten him through many nights, many tears and swirled in the wind through many playful moments. It took ship with him as he played pirates and was a cape as he played superheroes. It has been everywhere with us. and has been cherished so dearly.
It’s so bittersweet to even type this out.
and I would be lying if I didn’t admit to you that with the sweet song playing, I have been sobbing just writing out these feelings.
Over the past three months two-ba has slowly and surely been left behind. There are rare moments when he asks for it.
But they are rare now.
I find it crumpled in a corner long past bedtime and I have realized that his need for two-ba isn’t as strong anymore. Part of me wants to scream no and cling to that tiny baby boy he once was. But the majority of me loves watching him grow and change and soar. Stretching his wings. His independence is slowly emerging and through something as sweet as a tiny blankie, two ba… I have begun to prepare my own heart.
Because someday…just as his beloved two.ba, he won’t need me so much anymore.
Yes, he will always need me in ways. But they will change.
we wake up early, we tend to every need.
We cradle them in the night and we whisper and hold them close when they are afraid of the dark shadows in the hours when the world is sleeping.
We walk through the halls of our homes checking each bed, kissing each forehead… only hearing the small squeaks from our toes as they run along the long, cold floors. I often run my fingers slowly through their hair as they are off in a dreamland of slumber.
We kiss their ouchies and we rock them to sleep with a lullaby.
We teach them how to be and how to love.
We show them what to live for and fight for…
we start out as the tiny voice they hear in their little minds.
We love fiercely.
We fear fiercely.
We beg God for protection and gasp for air when we think about how vulnerable our hearts are now forever out in the world walking around in other tiny bodies.
Us mamas we take these tiny fragile innocent beings…. and we raise them, and love them and fight for them in every battle big and small.
Being a mama hurts. Loving something so passionately and so fiercely hurts.
But it is so beautifully rewarding & life giving.
Time. It gives and it takes.
Happy Mother’s day.