It’s Wednesday night when I am writing this.
Chris has been working all day… he walks through the door and says I have something you’re going to go do.
I put on my shoes, follow him outside.
The car is running.
There is a note and little cash on the front seat.
Windows are down and a John Mayer playlist is rolling.
“Keep the windows down, follow the instructions on the paper and go have fun- get a Starbucks hot chocolate and take the car with the directions I wrote out for you”
Thank you Lord for blessing me with a man who loves me well.
He knows me.
He knows what inspires me.
What moves me.
So there I was, driving windows down.
The Dallas city lights glowed over the horizon. The sun just about to disappear. The smell of old fashioned barbecue creeped through the open windows as my hair blew in the wind…. And somewhere along the way a few tears were shed.
I feel deeply. And I love when my soul can be moved.
Music, open air- all ingredients for movement.
Once the car was parked, hot chocolate in hand, music playing…I closed my eyes…took a deep breath and began to process.
I processed my dreams.
A few dreams that make me nervous and scared to even admit out loud.
Do you have dreams like that?
The ones too scary and too big to even speak of.
I thanked God for my marriage- and the people we have become.
I thought about influence and the glimpses of other plans He gave me through that weekend. In a way I can barely catch my breath.
I thought about goals I have. Things I want to do. Places I am hoping He leads me.
I thought about my babies.
And about loving people.
I thought about all the hurt out there.
I’m nothing. Just any other girl. I want God to use me. I want to pour out to others. But he doesn’t NEED me. And that alone will keep you humble. If anything the question presses constantly “why would He want to use me?”
But He does. He wants to use each of us.
We each have a purpose. A specific one.
Do that which ignites your soul every once in awhile.
It is good .