Sweet baby Apple was sound asleep and my two “big” kids were eating at the table. I was sitting between them and after a few moments Ainsleigh creeped over and climbed up on my lap. She was facing towards me and grabbed my cheeks, looked me straight in the eyes and smiled….over and over again in between kisses on my cheeks.
Something about the way the sun was shining behind her, something about those sweet dimples that she has.
Something about the way her tiny fingers were stroking my hair and clinging to me.
Something about the way she clenches on when she thinks I am about to get up.
She, too, wants it to last.
I desperately wanted to jump up and grab my camera but I didn’t. I held her tight. Soaked it in. And am doing the best job that I can right now to repaint it as a memory.
The weather here in Texas is changing.
I love the fall. I love the chiminea burning on the back porch.
and the leaves that are beginning to fall.
it nudges at my soul.
My “little” brother Travis moved back to Dallas and got to come over and meet Apple today for the first time. It’s been a long time since we have lived in the same city…it’ll be wonderful to have him here now. I loved watching my kiddos spending time with him. The same “little guy” that sang into hairbrushes with me is now a man.
Today I was thinking.
Recently I had to take a personality test for some “work” related things. We wanted to see where we fit best on our team and what roles we could easily be in. There were so many things about the test that were so eye opening for me to read and see written out on paper.
Something that really struck me though was what my results said about me as a mother.
*help their children become who they really are
*support their children’s creativity and originality
*are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
I have no idea if my kids would actually say these things about me or if someday these are ways that they would talk about me as a mother…but I sure hope so.
I desperately want to embrace my babies as individuals…I want to help each one in their own way figure out their purpose, their passions and foster that.
I want them to feel deeply, and learn that it’s okay. I want them to learn to express that.
Motherhood for me is such a joy.
A “life giver”.
I can hardly believe it’s going as fast as it is.
I just hope that I can help my babies find their life purpose…and help them make it happen.