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taking it easy.

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My grandmother passed away last night.  
She was the first of my 4 grandparents to go and it has been extremely sad. 
I am so grateful that we have the hope in heaven and the peace that she is there right now. 
She was a beautiful soul and had a beautiful life, she will be missed – truly missed.
My cousin had her first baby yesterday and as one life was coming into the world, one family member joining…another was being taken.

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So goodness, emotions have been high here.

I realized that I had my weeks off yesterday and actually am only 29 weeks today.
Tears again. Hormones?  
That seems so silly right, just one week off? But at this point each week seems so valuable and that was just a whole added week to keep her in! I am a true optimist, sometimes to a fault. I see the world as always half full, I try not to allow much negativity into my life so when I have days like the past few its pretty out of character.

The good news is I have three of the greatest ever here to keeping me smiling. And they have done that. Christopher has been so amazing. Cleaning the house, taking care of the kids, buying the groceries, running errands for me. 
He deserves some kind of an award!

I also tend to be “going” constantly. I love to be out at the pool or the park- just going non stop. So actually taking it easy and being forced to rest has been an unexpected breath of fresh air. I rocked Ainsleigh in the rocking chair for 30 minutes today. It was dark in her room, just the sun barely peeking through… normally I would just put her down for her nap but today I got her milk and held her and just rocked her. 
I smelled her hair and prayed over her… the whole time thinking, what a blessing to take time to rest and enjoy her today.


And yesterday Aiden and I spent a good half hour in a hammock just talking and relaxing.
These moments are gifts.

Again, thanks for all the love we have felt over the past few days. means everything.

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kids photos shot by chris/  style photos c/o: kristen rae photography
shirt & clutch c/o: lovenell  / boots c/o: blowfish

Motherhood

July 2, 2012

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  1. Sandy a la Mode

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:43 am

    such a precious post!! sorry for your loss sweetie~ that pic of the two of them on the bike is ADORABLE!

  2. Kendall

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:45 am

    Casey, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. Take it easy and enjoy all of those precious moments – fill yourself with them. Sending you lots and lots of love – xo.

  3. CP and KW

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:47 am

    this is absolutely beautiful. my thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
    best, kw – Ladies in Navy

  4. Nicole Marie

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:48 am

    Sorry for your loss. She is always looking down at you and your family.

  5. Anonymous

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:50 am

    Im so sorry for your loss. but you sound like you are hangin in there, which is good. your children are just absolutely darling.

  6. Kate

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:52 am

    So sorry for your lost! I lost my Nana over 10 years ago and some day its just as fresh as the first. Prays going up for you and your precious family!

  7. BRIGHTLIGHTS

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:52 am

    Sorry for your loss. The photos of your children are beautiful! And you look beautiful also.

  8. Lisa @ MMT

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:56 am

    So sorry for your loss Casey. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
    It so sweet to hear you treasure those small moments with your children. You are such a great mother and role model. I can't wait to have more little ones 🙂

  9. Pamela

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:57 am

    So sorry for your loss…

  10. Alexandra Niemeyer

    July 2nd, 2012 at 3:00 am

    So sorry for your loss. Continuing to pray for your family.

  11. The Rustic Ribbon

    July 2nd, 2012 at 3:01 am

    So sorry for your loss! Praying for you and all that you are dealing with right now!

  12. Emily [Bulldogs and Babies]

    July 2nd, 2012 at 3:03 am

    You are dealing with so much right now. The blessing in your life is still so evident. Wishing you and your whole family health and happiness.

  13. JAIMIE @ roxyloveblog

    July 2nd, 2012 at 3:06 am

    So sorry for your loss. You have been in my thoughts a lot lately. I look forward to your posts and hearing updates about your life. Your words are very powerful and I find a lot of comfort and peace in them. You remind me often to not only slow down and enjoy the moments, but to hope and day dream about the future with optimism. The way you talk about your children.. Oh, gosh. My little one is due in a few weeks, and I can't wait to really know and understand the kind of love you write about. It's beautiful <3

  14. Salena Lee

    July 2nd, 2012 at 3:08 am

    Casey, I'm sorry to hear about you losing your grandmother. So much going on with you right now, take all the opportunities to rest and enjoy the moments, saver them. Each pregnancy is so different. All these things happening with Apple may just be the way God needs to form her and it will be a perfect way for God to start her story. I lost my grandmother 2 months before my Dakota was born. She reminds us so much of my grandmother. My last daughter was born on my grandmother's birthday. It's wonderful how God uses things like that to comfort us. My thoughts and prayers are with you sweet Casey. I am looking forward to the day when you have Apple in your arms. Although it's hard to imagine… all of this will seem so small when you see her sweet face. Much love… xoxo

  15. Amanda

    July 2nd, 2012 at 3:14 am

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine everything you're going through! The picture of Aiden waving is priceless.

  16. Anonymous

    July 2nd, 2012 at 3:38 am

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. She's in a much brighter place where there is no suffering. And one week is abig deal to worry about but keep holding onto that faith and lay low. My thoughts are with you and your beautiful family during this crummy time.

    <3

    peacelovedecor.com

  17. BethAnn

    July 2nd, 2012 at 3:52 am

    Oh Casey – your smile is so sweet! Thank you again for letting us in on such a beautiful and personal bit of your life. I will pray for you, and your family for your loss – but also your gain in your cousin's baby! God is good. I think of you often – keep resting please!
    God bless!

  18. Aime Nagel

    July 2nd, 2012 at 4:13 am

    Praying for you…and how precious is the time we have. And how providential is our God. I just blogged about some similar feelings on my heart: http://snsandsnsibility.blogspot.com/2012/07/a-time-to.html. Praying for you, sister.

  19. Anonymous

    July 2nd, 2012 at 5:12 am

    Casey & family – my deepest sympathy in the loss of a precious family member. My heart goes out to you all. Thank you so much for sharing with us what's on your heart as I know this must be such a difficult time.

    Take every opportunity for rest and peace each day. Thinking of you ~

  20. Kelli

    July 2nd, 2012 at 5:50 am

    my grandfather just passed away a few weeks ago so I can understand what you are going through. It's hard to imagine him really being gone. Prayers for you and your family and that little one growing inside. xo.

  21. dreaming en francais

    July 2nd, 2012 at 6:01 am

    I am so sorry for your loss Casey. But as I was reading this post, one thought I had over and over again was how much I admire your optimism and positivity even through the toughest of times. You have such a beautiful spirit and I'm keeping you in my thoughts!

    http://dreamingenfrancais.blogspot.com

  22. kelly ann

    July 2nd, 2012 at 6:22 am

    beautiful friend, i'm holding you in my heart, thoughts, and prayers. feeling heartbroken for your tremendous loss, but also feeling equally joyous that your sweet grandmother is dancing in the streets of heaven right this very minute! may you feel wrapped up in a peace so strong and comforting. lovelovelove. xo.

  23. Katie

    July 2nd, 2012 at 10:35 am

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Have you heard this song? It's beautiful, and your post reminded me of it.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsJ4O-nSveg

  24. I am LOVD

    July 2nd, 2012 at 10:52 am

    So sorry to hear about the passing of your beautiful grandmother. I can see she was truly loved and a gift to many who knew her.

    Isn't it funny how rest can feel so forced sometimes? But, what a true blessing, Casey, to realize all your blessings. Take care, sweetie.

  25. Lottie

    July 2nd, 2012 at 11:00 am

    i am so sorry for your loss but i hope it is some comfort to know that she is looking down and smiling on you.

    and those moments with your two little ones are priceless.

  26. Candice

    July 2nd, 2012 at 11:27 am

    Casey. You are just amazing.
    Reading about those precious moments with your babies, imagining how that must have felt to be them – it reminded me some, of how I feel when I'm in prayer. Spending precious, special, quality time with my Father above.
    If I can be even a little similar to you in the way I 'live' and 'be' in my life, I'll be happy – you truly shine the light of Jesus through your day-to-day living.

  27. Sarah Stright

    July 2nd, 2012 at 11:44 am

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my grandma almost a year ago and it still makes me cry thinking of her. But I can still hear her laugh in my head and that's what gets me through the rough times. I'm glad you are getting the opportunity to rest and breath, especially with that gorgeous family of yours.

  28. brittany

    July 2nd, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    thank you so much for this reminder to just slow down. it is so easy to live life on cruise control and miss out on so many special moments. i'm so sorry about your loss. prayers for you and your family.

  29. Miss Emily K.

    July 2nd, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    I'm so sorry for you. I will keep your family in my prayers. I have a feeling that bedrest will be good for you…. to enjoy the kids.

  30. Kristi Wyckoff

    July 2nd, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Losing a grandparent is painful. I always tell my children that I will be in their hearts forever. So I think that's where those who love us and pass before us would want. Keep her in your heart.

    I also have to be on the go all the time. Glad you are enjoying your down time thus far. You are so blessed with a wonderful family. The more relaxed you can be the better for yourself and the little one inside.

    Bless you and you family.

  31. Jenny

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Sorry to hear about your grandmother–grandmothers are so precious.

  32. christina

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    sorry for your loss friend…praying for you!

  33. Priya

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    Praying for you and your family through this loss.

    Thanks for the reminder that all moments are gifts!

  34. Mara and Jae

    July 2nd, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    oh those pictures with both your babies on the little bike…so so sweet 🙂 i'm sorry about your grandma. i have no grandparents left, and i miss them daily. grandparents truly are wonderful people.

  35. Kristin

    July 2nd, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    I'm sorry to hear of your grandmothers passing Casey..but there is comfort knowing she's in a much better place. I don't doubt that she's keeping my great grandma and my sweet Hannah company now in Heaven 🙂 And we will see them again one day. I'm glad your resting, and enjoying your precious babies. Those moments are blessings, and I believe you have many more blessings to look forward to my friend. Praying for you and sending you lot's of love.

  36. Pink Slippers

    July 2nd, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    so sorry for your loss. praying for you and your family.

    mama to 9. 12 and under.

  37. Lindsay

    July 2nd, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    The photos of the kiddos riding together are just adorable. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother passing. Praying for you guys and for baby Apple to continue growing healthy and strong!

  38. Rachel Nicole

    July 2nd, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    Aww, so sorry about that. 🙁

    Love the pictures and praying for you!

    xoxo,
    Rachel Nicole @ Summer Breeze

    http://rachyracheshobbycorner.blogspot.com/

  39. Jeremy and Megan

    July 2nd, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    I am sorry to read about your grandmother passing.

    I am glad you are getting to enjoy some special time with your children before apple comes! I love the special moments I share with Olivia 🙂

  40. Erin

    July 2nd, 2012 at 11:48 pm

    so sorry for your loss, sweet friend. wow, lots of emotion lately. i'm thankful you've had time to just rest with your precious little family. many prayers for you every day dear! stay strong and know you are loved!

    ps – love the cute pics 🙂

  41. Joyeful

    July 3rd, 2012 at 4:40 am

    my heart goes out to you! so many emotions you're going through and I know it's not easy! sending even more prayers your way for comfort!! But you look absolutely beautiful even through it all 🙂

  42. The story of a girl..

    July 3rd, 2012 at 11:18 am

    Your words were beautiful.
    I am praying for your family. (and for baby too!)

  43. Cindy

    July 3rd, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    Oh, Casey. I am so very sorry for your loss. Grandparents are such special people. Praying for peace for you and yours.

  44. Leah

    July 3rd, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    Truly sorry for your loss. But isn't it amazing how God provides a new life as one is taken away?

  45. shanna

    July 3rd, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    Casey, You are so beautiful inside and out. The way you share your heart on you blog is amazing. So sorry for you loss…hoping you feel a sense of peace. I will be lifting you and your family up in prayer!

  46. misty venne

    July 4th, 2012 at 3:12 am

    I'm so sorry Casey! I have one grandmother: Grandma Betty,whom we love dearly!!
    Praying for your comfort during this difficult time

  47. Anonymous

    July 4th, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    The photo of your grandmother is lovely- such a blessing that she got to meet Aiden and Ainsleigh. My grandmother died in Jan, a few weeks before we had our baby and I wish they could have met. I know she was going home to her Father though- so glad we have hope through sorroqw. Love to you all. Zoe x

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