Well I have sort of debated on how much to share on this pregnancy.
Mostly because I never want it to look like I am just seeking out attention. And I dont want it to seem like I am making a big ordeal out of everything that comes my way, ya know?? I had placenta issues at the beginning and then 2 weeks ago was admitted to the hospital… but up until now I just didn’t feel like posting about what was happening, I just really really didn’t want to make a big deal out of what all has been going on!
But I lay here, the second time in the hospital in the past 2 weeks and decided to write a post with a bit of an update. If I’m going to be true to posting about my life and sharing what is really going on, then I should share with you all what has been happening with our little A.
Today I am being monitored and getting steroid shots for sweet little Apple. The shots will help her little lungs if she decides to come early. This is the first time I have received the steroid shots and feel really encouraged that we are getting these because Aiden & Ainsleigh were both born early with very underdeveloped lungs.
I have a history of having babies early and this sweet girl is following in those footsteps, trying to come. I came in at 9:00 this morning for my weekly sono and my cervix had shortened drastically from last week. In fact my doctor said it was extremely close to the # of just needing to be admitted to the hospital with the order to stay (for weeks on bedrest) until she comes.
They told me today that I’ll be on bedrest at home until next Friday and then we will see a fetal specialist again to see if we have made progress. Besides the obvious prayer of Apple’s safety and continual growth…a huge prayer for me right now is that I am not admitted to the hospital to stay.
Eyes are welling up just thinking about it.
Coming from someone who has trouble leaving her babies on a date night, I am feeling extremely anxious and panicky about the possibility of being away from them for weeks.
I just might have a breakdown if I let my mind go there.
On top of that, the people who are supposed to watch our kiddos when we have Apple, can’t watch the kiddos until August 4.
And the last thing I want is to be worrying about aiden and ains with a sick baby in the NICU.
So I am hitting my knees tonight, praying for some sort of miracle.
Please no hospital stay and please baby girl stay put.
Praying that all of this falls into place as it should.
Or rather as I wish it would.
A few people have asked my actual due date- it’s september 16 (ainsleighs birthday).
Today was emotional. I want so badly for everything to go smoothly and yet I find myself here again….we have walked this road twice before and this time it is all happening even sooner.
I would be completely lying if I didn’t tell you I am just sobbing at this moment and am not even really sure why…just overcome with everything.
I tried all day to be really positive and strong and “everything will be fine” but as the night comes and I am tired, I am getting really weepy.
Just not knowing how this all will play out.
And then my sweet friend, Danielle, left me a message tonight where she prayed outloud on the answering machine and it just triggered a complete waterfall…it was like everything I was holding in just came pouring out like a flood. I am so grateful that I have so many people in my life who show me, tangibly, the love of Jesus. I got sweet texts and messages all day and her prayer just sent me straight over the edge.
Chris works from home so he can help tremendously BUT if I was admitted to the hospital it would be extremely hard for him to get everything he needs to get done with his business while also watching the kiddos…so I humbly ask for your prayers over the next few weeks.
I will be 29 weeks on Sunday.
Thank you so so very much from the bottom of my heart for the prayers and for loving us well. xoxo