a lifestyle blog about motherhood, intention, whimsical moments, and wellness
*This picture perfectly shows Aiden in the mornings. For those who have followed awhile, you know his blankies are actually Chris & I’s pillowcases that he started taking off of our pillows and carrying around. He now is attached to two specific ones….ba and two ba!
When I was a young girl a dear friend of mine was killed in a car accident. Actually all of the siblings but one died. It was horrible. It was a lot for me, as a little person, to wrap my mind around. I had spent the night in their home weeks before the accident…then suddenly they were all gone. I remember my mom took me to the funeral and there was an open casket. It was terrible, looking in at your small friend and her 2 sisters and their teeny baby brother all in tiny caskets lined up. It was like a nightmare.
They looked cold, and lifeless.
Years and years later, now as a mama I look at that whole horrible story even differently. As a little girl I wasn’t able to think about those parents the way I do now.
How do you cope with losing 4 children?
As awful as this sounds sometimes when Im holding Aiden or Ains…when I feel their hot skin against my cheek I stop and thank God that they are hot, breathing, laughing…..alive. I think, “please God let there not be a moment when I feel them cold, begging back their ‘heat’.”
Thank goodness we have hope in heaven.
We are snuggle bugs over here. Recently we were at a play area and Ainsleigh was walking around to all the other kids and kissing them. I couldn’t help but laugh. She gets snuggled, hugged and kissed constantly…it is what she knows.
Tonight I was snuggling them both, we were laying in bed getting ready for bedtime and Aiden was holding me tight. It’s so sweet, the more he talks the more aware I am of what he is thinking and feeling. “I yo, mommy”. He will see a cut on me, “oh no mommy! whah hoppeened, mommy crying??” He loves me. It is true raw emotion. Please…help me freeze time. I thank God for these moments…. how do I soak this in?
I am a sensitive soul. I think differently. I am constantly aware of life and how fragile it is.
I know we can’t live in fear…this is something I am working on…open hands.
I am Casey Leigh. I love to share my life through this little blog. When you stop by you can expect pieces of my perspective on life, faith, kids, marriage, loss... with touches of art, creative inspiration, fashion, projects & things I love along the way. My gift to you, our story...