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panic

Last night wasn’t really different than any other night, but in the midst of Aiden, Chris, the dogs & I spending time together….in the middle of a “moment” where everything seems so perfect….my precious little boy laughing, daddy home, baby Ainsleigh kicking, dogs playing….I had this overwhelming rush of panic. Would I be okay if something happened to them? I know I shouldn’t think this way but my heart is SO overflowing with love for both my boys that in certain moments it almost brings on fear. Am I strong enough to handle anything? Is my faith unshakable?

I am such an emotional person and base so much on love & feelings…. ” am I taking this all in? we all know that it can be gone in an instant, we are not promised a tomorrow…”

My husband has given me more in a marriage than I knew was possible…such constant, selfless love. He has made me better in a zillion ways. I tell him all the time that he has made all my dreams come true…and that is truly and understatement. I don’t deserve him, not even for a day & yet he loves me so unconditionally & perfectly.

Being a mom has given a meaning to my life that I didn’t know was possible. I can only hope that I will be lucky enough to have 4 or 5 of these precious little angels to keep changing my world forever. Constantly giving over my fear when it comes to my kids will probably be a life battle. I don’t even know them all yet but I know I would give any of them anything.

Today I feel blessed & thankful for the love in my life.



Lifestyle

May 27, 2010

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  1. Katie and Justin Cox

    May 27th, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    What a sweet post Casey! I think every Momma battles fear from the day they first learn they are pregnant! And the reason we fear is because we LOVE so intensely and SO MUCH! I am right there with you! I find that I continually have to remind myself that God is very clear to tell us that He does not give us a spirit of fear! So when we have that we know where it is comin' from and we need to send it right back! 🙂

  2. the Jennings secede from the South

    May 28th, 2010 at 11:41 am

    I think it is so hard to love with our hands open. Great post. I am so reassured by our hope that is in heaven that nothing can separate us from the love of our God and his perfect love casts out all our fear!

  3. the Jennings secede from the S

    March 9th, 2011 at 4:21 am

    I think it is so hard to love with our hands open. Great post. I am so reassured by our hope that is in heaven that nothing can separate us from the love of our God and his perfect love casts out all our fear!

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