a lifestyle blog about motherhood, intention, whimsical moments, and wellness
We all have Capes.
Recently I feel like I am entering into a season of change and I am moving forward…and I keep glancing back. Like the old me is fading farther and farther. It’s a bit uncomfortable at times. People remain back. And sometimes it’s hard to move forward and change and see what God has for you when you see people you love not budging. Maybe that is why friendships change so much through various seasons of our lives. Some moments I feel like I have strapped myself into a rollercoaster and I am at the mercy of the world around me. Life throwing me every which way. Yet I can feel Him guiding me and moving with me.
I am changing.
That’s life yes?
A comment on my instagram this week got me thinking. Someone commented on my post about c-sections that a woman told her once that she wasn’t a real mother because she wasn’t able to have a regular delivery. Many women added that they too had been told the same.
What makes you a real mother?
What makes you a good one?
My babies are one of the things that have given me life. They make me want to be better, they make me want to grow and soar and be the best version of myself. They make me want to be brave.
Being a mother is one of the things that has made me the most real. Feel the most intensely in my life. Cry the hardest and face myself in the most intense way possible. It has shown me love in a way that I desperately hoped was real. An innocent, pure, unconditional love. In the purest most beautiful form.
I say, mothers bring their babies into the world by any means necessary….whether that includes dying to their own dreams and trusting their doctors to have a c-section or dying to their desire to keep a certain body shape or dying to their own idea of a perfect birth story.
I say…… that makes you supermom.
I say, real mamas figure out their babies needs…and they love them well.
We live in a time where everyone has the answers. Read this book, follow this blog, repin this on pinterest. I say hold on a second. Absolutely these are amazing tools and incredible means for ideas and guidance. But. I say, that maybe in an attempt to be “the best mom”…. in an attempt to follow the rules, the schedules, the perfect DIYs, have the most amazing birthday parties… we could actually miss out on being a truly remarkable mom. It’s like when I stop myself and realize that is more important to my kiddos that I am present than if every room is clean and perfect. Being so focused on following a book or doing what our best friend does, we might miss out on a different road. A path that might have been better for our child. A mom that is slow with her days, listens carefully, selflessly dies to an idea of how many hours she should sleep at night. A mom that is quick to forgive and slow with her temper.
We all mess up. We all end our days with a few mistakes under our belts.
We all mess up. We all end our days with a few mistakes under our belts.
What makes you a real mother or a good mother or a supermom isn’t whether you had a certain kind of birth story. It isn’t if your kid has the most beautiful lunch or the most creative handmade Valentine’s.
It’s in the little moments. In the middle of the night as we tiptoe down the hall and run our fingers along the walls as we beg out prayers over each child. It’s knowing your son wants you to buy him earthworms when you go to the store or that sometimes kids act out when they are hurting. It’s running up your kid’s homework that they forgot or staying up late to fold laundry and make lunches. It’s working at a job late into the night even when you feel unappreciated.
We wake in the middle of the night and rock our babies, we calm every fear and wipe every tear.
It’s in the little moments. In the middle of the night as we tiptoe down the hall and run our fingers along the walls as we beg out prayers over each child. It’s knowing your son wants you to buy him earthworms when you go to the store or that sometimes kids act out when they are hurting. It’s running up your kid’s homework that they forgot or staying up late to fold laundry and make lunches. It’s working at a job late into the night even when you feel unappreciated.
We wake in the middle of the night and rock our babies, we calm every fear and wipe every tear.
We love big and we know we don’t have it all together. We are enough. and we don’t need someone else’s idea of a real mom to shape us or take us down a wrong path.
We all have capes.
We don’t need to be told we are real moms, we know we are super.
January 17, 2014
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thank you so much for these words. I needed them more than ever this week. I mess up all the time, but I guess that makes me human. thanks for reminding me Im super!
also, I was really upset when I read that comment on your IG about not being a real mom if you had a c section. Ive heard the same comment about choosing to have an epidural instead of going natural. when did we all become so judgmental? what's wrong with this picture? did we not grow these babies in our bellies just the same as everyone else? do we not love them just the same regardless of the delivery method? can we please stop this elitist mom judgment people?!?
You are ALWAYS such a sweetheart and so incredibly lovely and encouraging…just wanted to say thank you dear :)!!!
This is so wonderful. I definitely have been feeling this a lot lately. I need to slow down and not worry about the dishes and the laundry and the mess… I need to enjoy my baby and all those household chores take a back seat to making memories with my girl.
xo
Ali
when life gives you mellin's
thank you so much love 🙂
Lump in my throat. This is just what I needed to hear today. Thank you!
Kelly @ Our Cone Zone
aww, xoxo!
This is beautiful Casey. I just wrote a blog post talking about moving forward as well. That is so life… moving at different paces than those around you, and it's all very bittersweet… but the possibilities of the things ahead are exciting.
I love what you said about being a mama… I had to have 3 c-sections, and if it weren't for modern medicine, we would never have held our first daughter alive.
Thank you friend, I always end up getting lost in your blog. (a good thing:)
aw I love you so much friend, this all means so much to me… more than you know
Beautiful thoughts as always!
so sweet friend, xoxo
Love this Casey! Thank you. Me, my girls and my hubby are always the happiest when we let go of the expectations, the pressure and the world. God made us all unique, we don't have to be anything but us. I have to remind myself of this when I get off track. Hope you have a great week.
absolutely, so beautiful friend
Just beautiful and so touching! I always love reading your precious words, friend. Thank you for making me feel super! xo
aw you just made me smile so big!
I was a c-section baby. My mom had to deliver this way because I was the wrong way up. We've kind of always wondered if I did this because her best friend died two weeks before I was born. I was due the week she died actually but came late. I wonder if like I was so connected emotionally to my mother that I stayed in there longer. Today I'm still a person very connected to emotion. If my mom isn't a real mother then does that mean I'm not a real child? Some people are so ignorant. The same is with life, the goal might be the same but we do what our very specific intuitions tell us is right for us. Ya gotta listen to your own body! Anyway, just wanted you to know you and your blog mean a lot to me. I've always been a bit of a melancholy artist type too and through your writings you've helped me to realize this as a strength and not a weakness to try to mask. You're beautiful Casey! 🙂
oh wow, this is all so beautiful, ahhhh thank you for this precious comment…thank you so much for your sweet encouragement and words…it means a lot to me, more than you know!
Such a beautiful post. I am not a momma yet but I feel the season nearing. Which leaves me feeling scared/ nervous unsure if I have enough to give and to shape the little lives that the Lord brings me. I hope I have the same attitude and love for every season of life. Thanks for sharing your journey!
aww you will! There is nothing like it!!! This makes me so happy 🙂
Any mom- by adoption or biological- should appreciate this! Thank you. I can't imagine not learning tolerance any other way. No perfect formula than striving to parent as Christ parents us & commands us to love!
oh this is beautiful, love this!!!
Thank you for this…from one Wonder Woman to another.
ahh YES! love!!!
SO beautifully said, Casey! Loved all of it, and grateful that you and so many others in this community help to build each other up. Enough with the hoopla, it's time to set aside our differences and remember that we are supermoms in this together. ~Jenna
aww yes!!!! LOVE!
This is beautiful!
thank you so so much friend!
Love this….
xoxoxo!!
Thank you for that. I had a c-section and heard those remarks too. I know it's not true, but it still hurt because it came from family. Just seeing it in print is comforting.
oh no, my heart just dropped…. I am so so so sorry 🙁
Casey, This is such an inspiring post. I needed to hear this today. Thank you.:) And lady, you look awesome in your cape!
aw you are the sweetest!!!!!!
Inspiring as always Casey. And lady, you rock that cape!
🙂 spoke to my tired momma soul tonight.
this makes me happy, hugs sweet friend
I have had a baby "naturally", but God decided that we could not keep him… and even with no baby in my arms, Jude made me a mom. God has blessed us with 2 beautiful little girls through adoption since then, and I can tell you I am no less their "real mom" than I was to my baby I gave birth too. Becoming a mom is a gift (no matter how it happens!), and God orchestrates the way those children come into our lives in ALL different ways. I have had the privilege to stand next to 2 strong, courageous moms as they gave birth… and then handed their baby to me, making me a mom as well.
Thank you for this beautiful post!
oh boy, you have me crying…. all my love to you friend
I’m not even a mother yet and I would have lost my ish if I heard another woman say that. There are plenty of women in this world who have never birthed their own children, but they still wipe bottoms, and kiss booboos for the millions of children without “real mothers” does that make them any less in love with their children? Any less of a mother? No. What about the women who bring babies into this world and then leave them on a stoop somewhere, are they “real mothers” or is it the women who step up and take the responsibility that they have shunned. The ignorance in this world amazes me.
perfectly said beauty
I was the one who left the initial comment so these words mean more than you could ever know. Where were you when this lady was saying these mean things? I sure could have used your brave and kind heart. You made my day. Xoxo! You are truly an inspiration. @mommymelissa123
oh my goodness, thought about that comment all week- so glad you shared and created a place for us to talk about this! love you sister!
I was the one who wrote the comment so this post means more to me than you could ever know. Where were you when that lady was saying those mean things? I sure could have used your brave and kind heart. You are such an inspiration. Thanks for making my day. Xoxo! @mommymelissa123
my shirt is wet this morning as I read your powerful words. you truly have a gift, casey. as I read my mind kept whispering "Yes" over and over. what a great way to start my day. thank you.
oh this is going to make me cry!
Casey I am one of those c-section moms… not my plan… not my desire… I felt… less than. My mother, not meaning to do so, made me feel as though I hadn't experienced it all, hadn't done something right. I felt like a failure at the one thing my body was created to do. Thank you for shedding light on this "super mom" subject matter. We all need to give more grace to one another and to ourselves. Blessings!
oh sweet friend, I am so so sorry :(… this made me tear up, you are so sweet to come here and share love
Casey, I was one of those c-sections moms. Not my plan… not my desire… I felt… less than. My mother, not meaning to do so, said some things that I interpreted as I had done something wrong, I hadn't experienced a "real birth". Thank you for shedding light on this subject of "super mom". We all need to extend a little more grace, to each other and to ourselves. Blessings
This is so good! Thank you so much, I am trying to make an effort to be "present over perfect" for this new year, and this really spoke to me 🙂
Great reminder! I was just saying to a friend I have a love/hate relationship with google & our generation of technology. It is great to be able to look parenting things up in a snap, but it can also be too much information. It can make you feel like you made a 1,000 mistakes because you didn't follow someone else's guidelines to a T. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Ugh, I hate it when people say that C-sections aren't a "real birth". We knew we'd have one with our son Owen (he was breech) and I never once felt like I didn't give birth. That moment when the doctor said, "you're going to feel a slight tug" and then I did, and then I felt … empty inside is the best way to describe it .. and there he was, looking around like WHAT THE WHAT?!?!
Now with our second (a girl!) on the way in just six weeks or so, I know I will have a C-section again. I know women who go the VBAC route, and it's not for me. And the experience of our little girl's birth will be just as amazing to me, because she is going from inside me to outside me, hopefully healthy and happy and whole.
That's all that matters, healthy baby, healthy mama.
This was absolutely perfect for my mood today. Thank you!
I loved your C-section post! I have to be honest, I have friends to this day who complain about having a C-section, and it drives me nuts! My obgyn, who happens to also be one of my best friend, only does C-sections when either asked to do one (which is never), or it's safer for the baby. I have NEVER leaned either way, because I want what is safest for my child. To me it seems a little greedy to be so determined to have a baby vaginally, have your baby the way the baby wants it. Because ultimately it is the baby's decision.
Wonderful words! Very encouraging to a soon to be new mom! Thank you!
This was absolutely amazing. I'm preparing for my first little one due in June and right now my husband and I are discussing birth options, meeting with doctors and doulas and reading up on all the possibilities of labor and delivery. I'm going to go into the process naturally and stay at it as long as possible without epidural but I have really felt peace lately about going with what the doctors say is best and listening to my body without feeling ashamed of not making it through all natural or needing a C-section. Natural birth is a goal I have but it means nothing to me without my baby being born healthy and me being healthy too! I will come out wearing my mom cape no matter what:) Thanks for sharing these words with us!
I loved this post! I'm not a mom, but I loved everything you said. You have a way with words for sure. Loved this.
I loved this post! I'm not a mother myself, but I loved everything you said. You have a way with words. I loved this.
I loved reading this!!! I'm not a Mom myself, but I loved reading your words. They spoke to me.
It still shocks me to this day how people are capable of being so cruel. How can someone honestly say that having a C-section makes a woman any less of a mother? Just crazy. I just don't understand how anyone can actually believe that!
This post really hit home for me.
I know the feeling of moving forward and having to watch as people stay behind.
But there's always comfort in knowing God's hand is guiding us, even if it's uncomfortable and painful.
I cannot believe anyone being shallow enough to say a c-section doesn't count as true labor.
That's such an ignorant statement… and beyond hurtful to those women who've experienced c-sections.
Thank you for this encouraging post!
So beautifully said! Thank you for the encouragement.
I've seen this message again and again, but this is the most beautifully written I have seen!
Your words are so necessary at this moment in the lives of mothers everywhere. You have perfectly captured to real meaning of motherhood. Thank you
Lifeimagined.org
This post completely brought me to tears. I know in my heart, that God brought me to your blog for a reason. I've been battling the past few months, beating myself up, feeling like I'm not good enough…..this post brought the clarity that I needed at this exact moment, that it's okay to be who I am! I've been striving to be this "perfect" mom that consists of the perfect party, outfit, dinner, on time mom, but who am I kidding?! At the end of the day as long as I know my kids heart and soul and give them the best of me, who could ask for more? Thank you, your blog has been the best gift. I'm so thankful to have found it.