For the past few years I have chosen a “word” for the year. 2014… my word is BRAVE. My whole life I have basically been the opposite of brave. I have been careful and I have been anxious. Ever since this post I have been praying that I would be brave. I want my faith to be strong and to rest in His plan above my own…no matter what it holds. I have a feeling in my gut that this year is going to entail trusting Him a lot. Chris’ movie will be released, I am *hoping* for our last baby which will be a flood of trust & emotions, new opportunities, Aiden will start Kindergarten, we will have our first Hopespoken conference and a million unknowns.
This morning I woke up and Aiden’s arms were around my neck. I pulled back and the sunlight was perfectly shining in on his face. I ran my hands across his forehead to brush back his sweet hair and just thanked God for him. Then I turned my head and Ainsleigh was there too. They must have crept down the hall in the night and snuck in beside us. Her eyelashes and pouty lips were perfectly still as her tiny little lungs rose and fell. I could hear Apple stirring nearby. My precious Appie. These babies are such a gift…. I mean truly a gift. And having open hands with their precious lives is such a struggle for me.
Here are few snippets from past “words”…
2013 was HOPE.
” I have tangible hope in multiple areas. God redeemed my heartache. Sometimes I wonder if we as humans encounter heartache, loss and sadness not only because this is a fallen and sinful world. An imperfect world. But also so that we can truly appreciate the joys as well. On a new level of appreciation. A new level of thanks. To balance out human perspective.This isn’t heaven so we can’t understand the whole picture. We must have hope to come out on the other side of tasting incredible sadness. I want to matter. and not in the “I am awesome and matter so much kind of way”, I want my life to mean something. God has me here for a purpose and I am constantly seeking out what that is and what that looks like. I want my life to matter. I want to give hope. “
2011 was PEACE.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Matthew 5:9 My all time favorite book, “A Beautiful Offering” has a chapter on peace… “When you decide to live out what you believe. When you decide you want peace in your possession, then you will find out what that looks like & feels like. You begin to pray for God to give you peace. You incorporate peace in your relationships. You decide to respond differently. You speak in love. Act in tenderness. You imitate what you know about peace until it becomes a reality for your character & your life.” It is so convicting. Dying to your desire. Dying to your flesh. “He restores what has been broken & heals what has been wounded. I don’t have peace because I figured it all out. I have peace because I believe in Christ.”
2012 was CHANGE.
“I have roots that run deep.
The old me that I am constantly fighting… insecure, unforgiving, entitled….it’s time to uproot and CHANGE.
So this year I will keep the word peace as a daily mission and add the word change.
Because it’s time.
Those poisonous roots have been in me far too long.”
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