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where are you?
I read this post this week and I havent been able to get it out of my mind. This story of loss and his raw emotion… wondering if anyone is going to come back and reach for him.
I honestly have thought a lot about community. I know a lot of people have a great community and a great support system for life. But what about the rest? It’s like when someone tells me they are Chris’ best friend and I know they don’t have a clue about our life. Not. a. clue. You know, the stuff no one wants to ask about. The messy stuff. The hard questions.
It’s hard sometimes to ask the hard questions. To really dig in and meet people where they are at. It’s a lot less messy to stay up on the surface. Away from depression, addiction, loss, death, divorce…. you know the heavy stuff.
I feel convicted by this. It rattles around in my head like a tin can. Someone very close to me opened up recently about what was really going on for them the past five years. It took me a day to process and then a few days later I stood before this person. sorry. heartbroken. in tears.
My heart ached that I kept our conversations light. I was there and had no idea. I was swimming on the surface as someone that I love dearly was plunging at rapid speed into an ocean of hurt and question.
where was I?
December 13, 2013
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I couldn't agree with you more. I have struggled with depression my whole life, more so this past year. I have written some posts on my blog about it, and as I wrote it I wondered how I could open up my heart to people I don't even know? Most of my friends, my BEST friends have no idea what I have been going through this past year. They don't ask those type of questions. We keep things simple, and I always find myself wondering is that how it should be? Should we hide our dark secrets from the ones we love? Knowing they could be the ones that can help us.
I just love your heart! I too find myself keeping on the light side of things, thinking that if I don't acknowledge the deep messy stuff it will just go away. Sometimes I am afraid to dig deeper into my feelings because I am scared of what I will find. I am trying to be better about this. Trying to listen more, open my heart more and just know that whatever life has in store for me, God knows and will help guide me through it. Just knowing that makes each day a little easier to handle.
Thank you for your honest words.
I hope one day our paths cross. 🙂 Lots of love sweet friend! xoxoxo
Oh, Casey. It's amazing how this time of year can bring such joy and yet, also, such grief for so many. I'm seeing so much of it. It's so easy, when people ask how we are to just brush it off and say that we're fine when in reality, we're broken inside. It's hard to really get into it, isn't it? It can also be exhausting. We're so used to hearing everything is fine, that maybe it's not as easy to recognize or register when someone really needs us. It can be easy to miss the signs with the chaos of this time of year and our usual stuff. But the fact that you humbled yourself and returned to your friend days later? That's a true friend, Casey. It's beautiful and raw and emotional. It's the kind of community I want. This is a beautiful reminder to be more intentional. Not only with our community, but also those that God puts in our paths. Thank you for sharing this.