I still drive my same car that I got when I was 16.
I turn 29 next month, so my black 4 runner and I have been through a lot together.
Often times when I am driving, I glance in the rear view mirror at my two sweet faces sitting behind me and think…
little did I know. Little did I know when I was 16 and driving around for the first time…or packing up my car heading down to Waco for my first semester at Baylor….little did I know that I’d be cruisin’ around years later, a changed heart, a changed life- and 2 sweet little souls in those same seats.
Crushed goldfish in the car carpets, a double stroller in the trunk, little finger print smudges on the windows-
how full my heart would be.
At my parent’s house, the room looks different (my old room) then when I grew up there..but there is a reminder of a once small girl that lived in that room.
My glow in the dark stars still stuck to the ceiling.
The same ceiling I stared up at night after night as a young girl…through broken hearts and late night homework sessions.
Now sometimes Aiden, Ains and I will be playing in that room, look up at those same stars- and oh how my life has changed.
I never knew what being a mom and a wife and really the last 5 years of growth would bring me.
But I can tell you that it’s been beautiful.
Sometimes mess brings beauty.
I love being a wife. And I love being a mom. I ask Aiden all the time
” do you know how much I love being your mom? Can you feel it in your heart?”
I want him to feel it, to see it.
Chris and Ainsleigh too.
Before I got married words of affirmation was huge to me (from the book 5 love languages) but now years later it means almost nothing.
It’s near the end of the list.
I don’t want words.
I want to see it, feel it.
And same goes for them.
I want them to see it.
Thankful for every event that has shaped me until now, even the devastating ones.
They have taught me so much about life.
And how to love people.
How to show grace.
How to give.
It’s made me a better mother, a better wife.
Still learning though. And still changing.
I’m forever thankful for that.